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[15 Feb 2006|03:35am]
[ mood | frustrated ]

Why is it that I've gone almost a year without a decent computer? I type this entry on an orange iBook G3 (a.k.a. the first iBook released by apple, or more simply put, shit). I made the attempt quite a few months ago to call up Dell in order to see if I could get a hold of the driver CDs I so desperately need for my computer to once again function properly. Well, my good friend the answering machine picked up and the message went something like this: "Hello, and welcome to Dell SmartStep Tech Support. Unfortunately, no one is around at the moment to take your call. Please leave your credit card number to authorize a deposit in the amount of $25, your query, and your telephone number. We'll contact you whenever possible. Have a nice day." I have many, many problems with this. First of all, the fact that I got a machine each of the five times I called (during business hours) is not cool. Secondly, how can those solicitus bastards expect me to leave my card number on a machine for a security deposit on TECH SUPPORT? Isn't that supposed to be free? What if you can't fix my problem? Huh? What then? I think I'm the one who needs to receive a fucking security deposit for $25. What is becoming of customer service lately? I swear. Okay, maybe it's only two problems, but it's ridiculous that I can't even get a hold of the customer support. If this keeps up, I'll just have to buy a new computer altogether (do I smell a conspiracy?).
With my computer trouble, plus everything else, it seems as though nothing has been going right for me in the last two years. I know it's all my fault, but if only there were second chances. I could've stayed where I was and been somewhat content- not happy- I've never been a "happy" person and I don't know that I ever will be. Maybe content is even the wrong word. Perhaps it's unfazed I'm thinking of. That's about right. I would have remained unfazed. On numerous occasions, I've wondered how I let myself become who I am. No, that's not right either. I often wonder how I've let my current circumstances become of me. There was nothing I couldn't have done, and the hardest part of it all is having to point the proverbial "wagging finger of shame" towards myself, and when I realize it's me who's screwed me over (up until 2004 at least), I find myself wanting to change and grow from my experiences. And while it's easy to say and plan, the excecution comes with great difficulty because as I walk up to those iron doors in the morning, I have to fight back tears and the impulse to throw myself off of the highest floor of the building. Last year, I earned decent grades with the exception of one marking period, but evidently that didn't help my situation. Trapped. That's exactly what I am.

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It's been a while . [20 Nov 2005|07:21pm]
It seems like I haven't updated this in forever. Well, I guess I haven't. You could kind of even say I'd forgotten about it. I think I'm going to start it back up again. Once I get my good computer working again, then I'll have the patience to put up a new layout.

I've been reading my past entries and I feel like I've changed so much since last year. Even the way I talk seems to have evolved.

Well, anyway, I don't really have that much more to say, but it was nice to catch up with this. I'll have it back up again shortly. :-)
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go here [07 Dec 2004|10:55pm]
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almost done [07 Dec 2004|07:00pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

I'm almost done with making this layout. I'm really happy. I wish something good would happen with my life right now. I think this entry's retarded so I'm gonna make another one later...

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really really bored [07 Dec 2004|09:46am]
[ mood | bored ]

There's really nothing to do right now. I'm actually in the computer lab at school and I'm supposed to be doing research for a biology class, but guess what? I'm not. Surprise. Okay I'm a retard. I'm so bored looking up stupid research on stupid alzheimers. The layout's not done yet and I'm really pissed at myself. Oh well. Okay. I have to go before I get in trouble. Bye bye. I'll write later today.

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new layout up later today [04 Dec 2004|01:25pm]
[ mood | blank ]

I promise there will be a new layout today. I am fully aware of the fact that no one reads this thing, so this is more of a promise to myself. I'm thinking of a general color scheme to make the new layout. It should be nicer than the previous one, which will compell me to make entries more frequently even though, there's really nothing that interesting about my life.

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just passing the time. [02 Dec 2004|02:15pm]
[ mood | excited ]

I'm at school right now. We're supposed to be writing a story, but I figured that I could be using this time to do more important things like updating my livejournal. This laptop is really spazzing out on me right now and the layout was supposed to be done a little while ago, but I had to postspone that because I couldn't get any batteries for my mouse (it's battery operated-dur) but Emma gave me some today and now I'm just peachy. Well anyway, Emma and I are going to Victoria's Secret tomorrow. I'm so excited because I haven't been there since September. I think my mom's getting me a snorkel, too. I'm pretty excited about that. I'm also seeing Leora after school tomorrow, which is definitely the icing on the Friday cake. I haven't seen her since around August and I miss her so much. I really can't wait. I hope she actually decides to make an appearance this time. The last time, I waited like an hour for her when we were supposed to meet only to find out that she does this thing in Harlem every Friday after school. It sort of pissed me off though that she didn't tell me because she knew we were supposed to be meeting that day and I waited so long and just walked around the city to just kill some time. I only ended up wasting time and the walking around was pointless. Well let's just hope tomorrow's different, because if it is, I'm pretty sure that it's going to be a great day. =0)

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no subject. [27 Nov 2004|09:09pm]
Yay! I have to make an entry right now. Even though the journal isn't lookin' too fly, I feel compelled to write. Lee and I were talking yesterday. I was so happy to hear (or see an IM rather) from her. We're meeting up this Friday after school and I'm so happy since I miss her so much. I wish I could see Jill too but I doubt she's coming here from Florida. But nevertheless, I'm just so happy that I'll get a chance to see Leora. As usual, I was moping about guys and how I would never have one. We were talking about how it's hard to have faith in the universe that are any worthwhile guys left on the planet anymore. It's like if you can't find any in school (In a school with like 65 people, you can forget about that.), there's absolutely no other way to find any, so we agreed that we're going on a safari on Friday. No I'm just kidding about that, although we did make mention of it in passing. Imagine how funny that would be though, In a little safari outfit going to find guys. Haha. I crack myself up. But I did a survey so if ever Mr. Right does come along (never), I'll remember who he is. Guy That Will NEVER be Mine SurveyCollapse )
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blah [26 Nov 2004|12:31pm]
I'm such a dingbat 'cause I just realized that the reason I wasn't veiwing things the way I wanted to on this computer is that I had it on an 800 x 600 resolution instead of 1024 x 768. I can't believe I didn't figure that out before. Wow am I slow. I'm really annoyed right now though because I want to get the new layout up soon and I don't have all my images on the computer. I might do this right now with new images and stuff. I don't really know. It smells really good. My dad's making soup.
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new layout will be here soon. [24 Nov 2004|03:01pm]
[ mood | bored ]

I feel really bad for updating this even though I know no one reads this. It's just that I like to keep this thing, but it's just so hard to motivate myself to keep this when I don't have a nice layout up. I will soon though. Expect something very different from this one/the polka dot one. I don't know. I can guarantee it'll be better and a little more personalized. It should be up some time today or tomorrow.

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Grr. [20 Nov 2004|01:22pm]
[ mood | okay ]

Okay, so I'm really trying to get a new layout up and everything. I just can't think of anything to do with it. I can't think of a color scheme, a theme- nothing. Well anyway, I'll be making more frequent entries once I manage to put up a layout that I'm satisfied with. Bye for now.

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i'll be right back [14 Nov 2004|11:09am]
This lj is currently undergoing some construction. A new layout will be up soon in a few days. Be patient. I know no one actually reads this but I'm going to act like people do.
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Joan of Arcadia & Dumbass Mom. [12 Nov 2004|09:54pm]
[ mood | frustrated ]

Did anyone see Joan of Arcadia tonight? it was so sad. Judith died. I wanted to cry because it was so sad, but my mom was right there. Oh yeah, and speaking of that wench, I really don't like her.

Read the rest-a rant about my mom.Collapse )

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Sick. [08 Nov 2004|10:02pm]
[ mood | sick ]

I think I'm coming down with a case of the common cold. I know it's not really all that bad but it just has a way of making you feel icky. I don't even think I want to go to school tomorrow. What's new? Oh well, I'm gonna go and have a cup of tea.

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Dun Dun Dun [08 Nov 2004|08:08pm]
[ mood | blah ]

Okay, so I finally got the long awaited (By who? No one reads this, Courtney) report card.

Biology 112: A-
Geometry 231: A-
English 3A: A-
European History: B
Creative Writing: B+
Art: C+

What my father has to say about everything: "You could've gotten more than two [three] A's, Courtney. Didn't you do better last term? Both your parents are artists and you managed to get that fantastic grade in art class?" Thanks Dad, just what I needed to hear. It's not like I failed all last quarter and even D's would've been improvements.

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Second and Probably not last Post Today. [07 Nov 2004|12:49pm]
[ mood | determined ]

Okay, so I'm definitely changing the layout on this thing. I really can't stand looking at this anymore. I want to redo a lot of the stuff. My friends page looks like absolute poop right now, too. That needs to be addressed as well. I'm so excited about making a new layout. I won't go on any longer without one. You kno what I need too? I need a webcam. A new computer would be nice too. Oh well. I'll post later after my layout's done.

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It's been a while. [07 Nov 2004|10:43am]
[ mood | rejuvenated ]

It's been a long time since I've updated this. I was gonna do this yesterday, but I couldn't because the livejournal server was down. Well let's see. Since my last entry, I've gotten my bellybutton pierced, my braces came off, and I tried to get my mother to be a little bit more understanding and let me have some freakin' freedom. It took me so long though and so many tears. I hate crying in front of people though, but I think I may have gotten through to her. I've also grown tired of this lj layout and I think it's time for a change. I think it's going to be a lot of blues and greens. And I'm tired of that pic of me. I'm putting at lest a somewhat decent one up next time. yea. That works. Okie, I'll probably be writing in this later. This is the end of this entry.

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I have no life. [27 Oct 2004|10:05pm]
[ mood | nervous ]

Howdy. I haven't used this thing in a long time. Well a few days actually, but I'm getting my tongue pierced tomorrow 'cause I think if I don't, I'll just keep putting it off and putting it off some more and then I'll never do it. I get my braces of next Saturday. YAY! And I get glasses next Friday. The quarter's almost over too. It's going by so fast. I really have to work my hiney off these next two weeks if I want to get A's in all my classes. I think I have something like a B+ average. I hate quarters so much. Hm... I was just thinking about it and basically all my friends are outside of school. I have about two or three friends in school. LOL. I don't care though 'cause I'm getting out as soon as I can. This school is so boring.

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Moldy Soup [20 Oct 2004|09:41pm]
[ mood | nauseated ]

Eww... gross. I left some soup in a pot on the stove since Saturday and completely forgot about it until today and my mom was like getting mad at me for it and showing it to me and it was really nasty. It smelled like B.O. and other gross things and a layer of webbish moldy stuff had grown on it. I swear, it was so gross. It's giving me goosebumps just thinking about it. I can't do this anymore. I just thought the topic of moldy soup deserved it's own livejournal entry.

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Gotta Love Wednesday. [20 Oct 2004|09:07pm]
[ mood | stressed ]

Did anyone see Top Model Tonight? I got my mom addicted to that show. She used to think it was stupid, but I guess she got hooked cause it's so freakin' good. I'm glad Jen got kicked off tonight. She needed to go. Their Dooney and Bourke handbag shoot was really good. I think I'm going to use Amanda's photo in my next avatar. Hm... do I actually have anything interesting to say? Oh yea, the address is 101 7th avenue. I'm sort of stressed and worried about my oral report tomorrow. I don't really have that many details. I can basically kiss and A on this project goodbye.

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